We Are What We Say We Are. Maybe.

The other day I had an interesting conversation about design with someone.  He will remain nameless, not to create intrigue but to focus on the conversation rather than the man.   He is what I would consider a successful Entrepreneur;  owns a business doing something he believes in and loves, which hasn’t folded over and appears to be growing.  His advice to me, when I’m finally done with Design school, is to specialize.  To focus on something that I enjoy doing and do just that one thing, to not compromise on my ideals for the sake of a job (at least that is what I heard on my end; is there ever really a conversation out there that is just a bunch of words without someone’s interpretation and misinterpretation of them?  Can we not hear just what is said instead of what we believe we are hearing or want to hear?).

I began to think about this a lot, as I am  a brooder by nature.  And I began to think about this notion of specialization in design by comparing it to an Artist’s career.  It’s hard for me not to look at the life of an artist by way of comparison, as painting has been a part of me for 15 years now.

Designers often have a signature, one they are most famous for.  This usually happens later on in their careers, and for the lucky few this happens much earlier.  But because as a designer your muse is your consumer, the end-user, the audience for which you design a product or a poster or a wine bottle label, your work is never really yours. It isn’t private, because that is not the point of it.  Your work is immediately out there in the public, for the benefit or disadvantage to your personal career and your image as a designer. From day one your successes and failures materialize as a matter of public record; consumers interact with, are affected by, and sometimes coerced to spend money as a result of your designs.  Thus, as a young designer while you are finding your signature, it is difficult to control your public image as a designer of one specialty.

On the contrary, the life of an Artist is very different in this sense.   His work is a matter of personal record, not public.  The public is allowed a glimpse of his artwork if they are invited.  The life of a young artist is filled with failures, discarded paintings, canvases that have been reincarnated fifty times, sculptures that have been pulverized with a mallet.  And then there are the successes, the paintings, sculptures, installations, that lead to more art.  But never, in this tumultuous period of growth, is the young artist obligated to put his work out there, and as such he usually waits until he finds his signature before stepping out into the Sun.  In this sense, the Artist is in total control of his public image.  It is easier for the artist to be viewed by and known for only one style, one trademark: Picasso? Cubism; Degas? Impressionism; Dali? Surrealism;  Monet? Impressionistic water lilies; the list goes on.  But if you scavenge into the attics of their artistic careers, you will find many works much different than those they are known for.  And the scavenging is only really possible with dead artists, whose private lives have been turned inside out; for the living, this is nearly impossible without being sued or thrown into jail.  Or shot with a rifle.

The point of the comparison? None really, other than the exploration.   And yes, I distinguish Artist from Designer. There are some who will disagree that these are two different creatures;  that topic is for another day.

Real art

So lately I’ve been working on a couple of pieces that are not at all what one would call “in my style”.  They are in the realist tradition of sorts.  One is of a city scene and the other is a painting of a bicycle crank.

I haven’t had any real ideas or visions about where my painting (abstract) is headed, and so I’ve gravitated towards something I would equate to as mental exercise.  Kinda like math i guess.  You know, where your brows furrow, your eyes squint, and your head hurts? Yeah, that’s what realist painting is for me.

But it isn’t necessarily  a bad thing.   Painting in this tradition is exercising my technical painting skills.  See, when you paint something out of reference (a picture for example), you can see how far off you are.  It’s measurable, like math; there is only one right answer.  You either captured the image accurately or you didn’t.  That is regardless of style or palette.

Both paintings are small.  The city scene is only 5″ x 5″ and the crank is about 6″ x 8″.  This is night to the day of my usual canvas size.  I paint big, I paint freely with large strokes.  These two realist paintings are all about getting in close, scrunching up, using really small brushes that can’t hold a lot of oil paint at one time. Needless to say, I am out of my comfort zone.  And that is the whole point of it all.

Since creatively the river has temporarily run dry, I figured I would hone my skills while I wait for it to fill back up.  With abstract painting, you only have a vague mirage to reference when deciding whether or not you nailed it.  You have a distant vision, an idea, and maybe even a very concrete concept.  But at least in my case, you very rarely have a crisp picture of the end point.  And with that, there is plenty opportunity to get lost, to get diverted, to stop too short or push the painting too far, far beyond where you intended to go (and not necessarily in a good way).  There is a lot of opportunity to beat a dead horse.

And that is why with Abstract painting you need to be really sharp with your technical abilities; you need to be spot on. You .  When you’re trying to nail a good abstract painting, you don’t have any mile markers to measure the technical progress against.  And it is the mastered ability of applying just the right amount of paint in a specific manner with an appropriate palette that will make or break an abstract piece.

Abstract Art is mostly about the concept or feeling (on the conscious level), that is the goal and the end point.  And the means is tool-to-surface.  When you’re painting you’re not 100% aware of the tool-to-surface component.  Yeah, it’s happening, you are there and you control it.  But a lot of that is going on under the surface, so to speak. It’s like driving to work:  you are there, you are driving the car, and somehow you get from home to work.  But if anyone were to ask you about a specific driving decision you made along the way, you probably couldn’t answer.  It is important to have good driving skills under your belt so that when you have to make split-second decisions, you automatically make the right one, even without knowing it.  It is this way with abstract painting.

And so, I am currently honing my skills waiting for them to be used for more exciting purposes, like an abstract painting.

A Past Life

I haven’t written in a while, and in the times that I have, it has been about painting whether directly or indirectly.   This post has nothing to do with painting.  Or so it seems.

Visible from my kitchen window,  a section of the street corner about 4 feet by 7 feet has been roped off.  And in this space, various belongings have been dumped.  What were once pieces of someone’s life, are now but an eyesore on the side of the road.

I imagine this person is being evicted.   Although this is the only explanation that makes sense, in many ways it makes no sense.  It makes no sense that someone’s personal belongings–with memories imbedded like mattresses, old mexican party hats taken home from a drunken night at the bar, suitcases with name tags still attached– could be  tossed aside so thoughtlessly as if their owner were not deserving of some decency or understanding.

As I ponder this, random passers-by are pillaging off of this misfortune.  I have witnessed three cars pull up, survey the pile, choose what they deem salvageable, and with guilty looks on their faces load up their cars carrying away this person’s misfortunes with them.  This is happening to my neighbor, yet I do not know him/her.  And although I do not know him/her, I am sadly witnessing from the sidelines, my neighbor’s life being picked apart as if it were up for grabs.

Someone’s life is now junk on the side of the road.  Perhaps soon it will be another person’s treasure.

The New Year

It’s a new year. I guess officially it was a new year four days ago.  But it didn’t feel like a new year then.  Perhaps all of the family gatherings and the parties and the going out.  But now that life is slowly retreating into its routine humdrum, it feels like a new year with new beginnings.

This will be my first whole year in my “newer” studio as a full time artist.

This will be our pup Ben’s first whole year with us.

This will be our first whole year back in California.

There were so many starts and stops to 2009 that left me feeling so disjointed, it was difficult to grasp what the entirety was all about.  I am looking forward to really burrowing into my art and see how far I can take it.  Perhaps I can dig a tunnel all the way to China?

The Price of Art

Pricing art is a very interesting exercise. Every artist has their own formula even if they don’t quite know it yet. Some price based on size, some on materials, some price based on time to create, some price based solely on concept, and the factors go on and on.

I just finished reading a blog that I follow somewhat regularly and the jewelry-maker was talking about how her grandeur plans of making more complex, more expensive pieces to sell to galleries and high-end storefronts have shifted towards making simpler more affordable pieces, especially in light of the upcoming holidays.  This was in large due to practical reasons and workshop limitations of a traveling artisan. But she also talked about how a self-employed artist has to ponder these things as they/we do rely on our art as a source of income.

And it made me think of pricing art for its intrinsic value vs pricing art for its monetary value. I guess with jewelry, the rules are a little different because even though the hand-made pieces are forms of wearable art, the object is utility first and aesthetics coming in at a very close second. I mean if you had a great piece but couldn’t wear it then what good would it be as jewelry?  And because wearing and selling are part of jewelry, pricing is a natural part of the equation.

With painting, the game is a little different. The painting is created (for me at least) regardless of whether or not it will sell, regardless of whether or not someone would want to hang it on their wall. It begins with me, and when the painting is finished, the loop is closed. It ends with me.

The sale aspect is supplemental and many steps ahead.  It is an afterthought, I guess. But the sale is also separate from the pricing.  I price based on my own personal formula, not based on whether someone will think the painting is worth the $$$.  I guess that is a little naive and perhaps not very business savvy. But I would rather price the painting as I see fit than sell a painting for less than I think it is worth.

Is this backwards? Is the public supposed to judge  what the painting is worth? Do the critics? Is the monetary value of art similar to the value of a home, dependent on the “market”?

Endings

After a long week of getting ready for a show, filled mostly with ups and a sustained high fueled by adrenaline and nerves, the big event happens. And, after the big event happens, I become a well that is sucked dry and empty in the hot sun. Perhaps this is normal, this need to re-energize and renew, to fill back up with ideas and inspiration. But it kinda sucks! Showing your work is a big part of being an artist, and the lull that comes afterwards is a silence you have to face alone. The crowd is gone, the questions and the laughter have faded, and it is just you left behind to face what comes next.

After you have spent so much time talking about the art up on the wall, you kind of get sick and tired of that body of work, the concept that gave birth to it all. So naturally there is this desire to start something new and different.  And the silence is still there, only now it is filled with uncertainty and doubt.

The Purpose of a Heartbeat

The mind learns slowly

what the heart knows instantly –

A single beat,

The imprinted image of you

Traced upon my breast;

My breath fogs the suggestion of you.

What is this gesture (of you)?

For you are not mind nor body,

Limb or Torso,

Thought or Manner;

You are the act of awakening

The silent tearing of my heart;

You are the sweetness upon my lips,

The propulsion of my every movement.

Together we are born alone

And into the ground we shall separately sleep.

Yet in between

The Entering and Exiting

Is a lifetime of fragments:

Moments

Blurred Images

Crystallized pain.

The mind listens cautiously

Because it has been taught well;

The heart beats quickly throughout many lifetimes

Because it knows to find you.

On Art….

When I studied art history in college, fine art was high art. It belonged to an elitist select few, whose world did not touch upon the masses much. They were elevated, viewed from a distance, worshipped. Fine Art was contained and segregated; it did not bleed outside the lines into the world of the Others.  Art was revered as talent that was almost other-worldly and godlike.

Warhol tried to impact this and shift things up a bit by transforming what was viewed then as Fine Art into Popular Art. He dragged it to the presses, mass-produced it, and got it out to the public.  Yet even his attempt does not equal the effects the internet has had on making contemporary art available and approachable. There are many reasons for this, but the one that stands out for me were what seemed to be Warhol’s agenda: there was still an attempt to glorify himself, to make himself a celebrity and set himself apart from the masses even though it appeared as though he had embarked on an effort to bring the masses to him and closer to Art.

These days, art is every where. It is produced by everyone. From advertising agencies, to the internet, to posters, to the painter in his own little corner of the world putting his art on My Space.  There are no more lines, no more boundaries. Art has completely bled out.

Best Art Advice

I had the privilege of sitting with Grace Hartigan for half an hour, discussing my art. I was applying to MICA’s graduate program at the time.  Of all of the painting advice I have been given, her words have rung true and still haunt me to this day.

“You have to care about every inch; the whole painting.”

To this day, when I am in front of a canvas, I hear her speaking to me.

The Kite

The kite needs its string

To climb into the sky, to jump from cloud to cloud.

In its freedom it forgets about the string

And the hand that lets it fly higher.

When the kite can no longer climb

It looks to see what keeps it anchored

And sees only the string, inhibiting.

The kite attacks, lunging-the wind at its back-

Biting, cutting until it is free

To plummet and sink into the ground.

In its decline, the hand follows

The colorful trail

To where the kite has fallen.

It is tattered and torn

No longer shiny, no longer free.

The hand picks up the kite, careful

Not to damage it further,

And coils the string slowly, patiently.

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